Saturday, May 3, 2008

What an emotionally draining day...

Today was the memorial for my biological Dad. You may wonder why I say "biological." It is not because I am adopted, it is simple because he chose years ago to step out of my life. My Step-Dad took up the role of Father and has always loved me as if I was his own flesh and blood. I attended the memorial with great hesitation, but strove for graciousness all day. My Dad missed out on so much in life, three wonderful daughters (four counting our half sister - I do not know how much he was in her life), the fantastic husbands and beautiful grand babies. Yet, I sat watching a video of all his world travels and a mansion (no, kidding) he built the in Phillipines. The memorial left me feeling sad, I can only wonder if he ever feel like he was missing out on anything. By all appearances, he continued on with life after my parents divorce, easily walking away from his children. It is unkind to hope that from time to time, he felt a pang of guilt and sadness for not being in our lives?

It was nice to see so much of my family (his side) that I have not seen in years. And my (half) sister has a stunning two month old little girl, who made my entire day! We enjoyed several hours of feasting on amazing food (including Lumpia - something so wonderful) and catching up with distant family.

There is much work for me to complete, my Close To My Heart newsletter with some amazing specials, the finishing touches on a new video tutorial, college class assignments and oh, the list goes on. But bed is calling early and I am going to go pop on a movie and escape from the happenings of today.

I wish you all close and special relationships with those in your life! The end comes far too fast and unexpectedly...don't wait for tomorrow, make your amends today.


  1. I just read your new posting and want to send my condolences your way. I too had an absent biological dad (he was at sea in the Navy) and can relate to your situation. I had a step dad until two years ago and he in fact is Filipino and I have an adopted son who is Filipino so we know what Lumpia is in our household. If you want a easy recipe I would gladly share it. I hope you have some good memories to hold onto. No matter what "type" of family we have there are always lasting impressions of the mark they left on our lives.
    Take care and thanks for sharing your situation.

  2. Big hugs to you! The fact that you went says a lot about the kind of person you are. Your father was the one who really missed out. I'm sure this was really hard for you, but I think that you made the right decision to go.

  3. Christine,
    Something about the post touched me. I read it yesterday and then looked all over for it today.
    Maybe cause I was 28 when dad I never knew died and I too went to his funeral.
    Maybe because I saw the word awareness in your posts. Can't find it now.
    I think I am rambling on because today I visited my younger cousin who is becoming an angel in heaven in the next week or two.
    Maybe you should ignore this posting.


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